Episode 26

Chart a New Course

So you slayed some cycles. You noticed patterns of behavior you inherited but don’t want to repeat. But now what?

How do you chart a different course for your life and your family’s legacy? And what could happen if you don’t?

Motherhood Unmasked with Vanessa A. Harris Episode 26 Chart A New Course

Homework: 7 Questions to Help You Chart A New Course

Connect with Vanessa!

Do you know why I call you Mama BARE? Because you’re unmasked and unapologetic in admitting motherhood is tough, and you appreciate conversation that honors that.

So, connect with me for more support, empowering the best version of you as a mom.

For encouraging weekly midweek emails and exclusive access to practical resources that help YOU shine, tap “COUNT ME IN.”

COUNT ME IN

Episode 26 transcript

“You can’t keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest on it.”

What does that have to do with charting a new course for your family legacy?

We’ll get into that in Episode 26 of Motherhood Unmasked.

Hey there Mama Bare! This is Vanessa with compassion, candor and clarity for you, the mom tired of pretending you’re never overwhelmed by it all.

I get you—and I’m so glad you’re here

So last episode we talked about swords and slaying things like harmful habits running down family trees.

You may know them as generational curses, but if that’s too spooky or absurd to you—think of them as dysfunctional family dynamics.

If you missed episode 25 make sure you listen because this episode is the second half of the conversation.

Cause there’s no such thing as stopping one thing, if you’re not replacing it with something else.

Have you ever heard the parable about an impure spirit leaving a person but circling back to see if it can set up shop in them again.

And if it’s nice and tidy but EMPTY, that’s exactly what it will do. And bring some other nasty characters with it.

The same goes for you when you’ve done the work to (1) diagnose and (2) dismiss mindsets and beliefs that held you and your loved ones hostage for decades.

You need the third step—to dedicate your mind to a new way of thinking.

To set your mind on thoughts that lead to where you want to go instead of where you’ve been.

Or else you set yourself up to be in a bad way—way worse than before.

And while prayer and counseling can play a big part in charting a new course to move your family forward, no one can think your thoughts for you.

There are some decisions only you can make and actions you can take.

When you did your homework from Episode 25, you found the false narrative that’s been swirling over your family’s heads for generations.

Lies you’ve believed about yourself and members of your family.

And those thoughts have made quite the nest in your mind, opening you up to things like anger, bitterness and depression.

But once you toss that narrative out, you need a new script playing in your mind—one full of life giving thoughts.

My script contains meditations and declarations based on God’s Word. Because I need to fix my thoughts on what’s true about God, what’s honoring of myself and others, and what’s just plain worthwhile.

And the Bible ticks all those boxes for me.

But the reality is, if you know better but don’t do better.

If you expose the lies, but don’t replace it with truth. The shame associated with that sinks your family deeper into the pit you’re looking to climb out of.

HOMEWORK

This week’s homework involves the questions I mentioned last week.

If you didn’t get them it’s because you’re not on my email list.

But that’s an easy fix.

Just sign up at vinelifefaith.com/podcast.

There are 7 questions.

One of them being, “What do you have to believe different to be different?”

And if you haven’t done so yet, I recommend sitting with that question this week and beyond, really. Because it’s not a moment in time question—it’s a life long question.

But in terms of behavior, I’m reminded of something Pastor Joseph Prince out of Singapore says all the time, “Right believing leads to right living.”

And it’s so true because every action starts with a thought.

So the script you allow to nest in your mind doesn’t just stay there.

It works its way into your heart.

And you do what’s in your heart to do.

We all do.

But this week I challenge you to think about what you’re thinking about—the thoughts behind your actions.

Find the ones that don’t serve you well, and decide what thoughts you need to replace them with.

And when you decide, declare them.

And since you have what you say, say them often…

Well, I’m rooting for you and I pray your courage as you tackle family dynamics working against the legacy you want for your family.

And as you do, know that I’m doing the same.

If you need more encouragement, I talk about this more in the January article on my blog at vinelifefaith.com.

And If you’d like a copy of those questions I mentioned earlier—questions to help you identify and SLAY the cycles in your family—you can get your copy MY TREAT by connecting with me.

Just click the podcast tab on the website.

And as you get busy slaying cycles and changing mindsets please remember, when it comes to you being the mother of your children—YOU are the woman for the job. Take care.

NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your health care professional for any medical questions.